Cary Schmidt in his book, Off Script, mentions how that, as someone is going through a difficult time in life, some people will look at your situation and not be able to comprehend how you are not falling apart and furthermore can be joyful at the same time. Others, having gone through a difficult time and experienced God’s grace for themselves, will look at your situation and kinda look at you with a knowing smile, knowing that you are getting to experience in a special way the grace that God provides.
We have seen this personally in our situation. Many of the medical professionals we have interacted with over the last couple years, and even some Christians, have looked at our situation and the seeming ‘hopelessness’ of it and just cannot comprehend how we get through each day, how we can mostly be joyful as we deal with difficult circumstances, and how we even try to be an encouragement to others when we are the ones that should be needing encouragement. The only answer we can give is that God has given us His grace which is sufficient to not just get by day to day, but also to enjoy life and be able to minister to others at the same time.
Bible readers know that God says He will give grace, but until you go through a difficult situation it is hard to describe or understand it. What does this grace I am talking about look like? A common description of grace is “God giving us something we don’t deserve.” For our family here are some recent things we don’t deserve, but that God has given us or used people to provide:
For Becca and I: God has brought peace to our hearts; there are some days where it is almost like a troubled spirit that comes over us as we think about the present and what the future holds. During those times, it is almost as if God shows up and calms our hearts. Is the future still the same?—yes; but it is almost as if God supernaturally takes away the worry or fear of the future and allows us to enjoy the days that God has given us. It has been amazing in my own life to see this happen multiple times. The God we serve shows His grace by bringing peace to His children. It is not because we are amazing people; it is because God is a great God!
For Philip: He has been abnormally content over the past few weeks. There is really no medical explanation for why he has been so content other than that God has just calmed his spirit and given him a peace. As blindness sets in and his abilities decrease, it is almost as if God has wrapped His arms around him and said in a way that Philip can understand, “fear not, for I am with thee.” The God we serve shows his grace by bringing contentment to His children. Is that something Philip deserves?—no, he is a sinner like all of us; but it reveals the kind of God we serve.
For Joyanna: As her seizures continue to increase, and as she deals with some of the frustration of not being able to do what she used to be able to do; God has given her a joyful spirit that most of the time comes out. As she fights the effects of medication which dulls the senses and causes her to think slower, she tries to be happy and joyous most of the time. As she falls down and hurts herself because of seizures, she has to try to ‘bounce up’ and smile through the tears. The God we serve shows his grace by helping His children be joyful even when the circumstances aren’t really a joy.
For Ethan: Even though he doesn’t understand all that is going on, he is working to adapt to his role as the big brother, even though he is the youngest. It has been enjoyable to watch him adapt to life in a situation that most one and a half year olds don’t have to figure out. What does God have for his future?—I have no idea, but needless to say, he will definitely have a little different perspective on life than most kids. Interesting note: he may have a slightly warped sense of desire—I have noticed over the past few days that he sometimes cries because he can’t have medicine. Philip and Joyanna get it, why can’t he! He frequently tries to help Philip by bringing him books or toys; Philip can’t hold them, but it doesn’t stop Ethan from trying to help. The God we serve shows His grace by allowing even young children to adapt to situations beyond their control and maintain a good spirit and attitude.
For our family as a whole: several churches and multiple individuals have given us cards indicating they are praying for us; many of these cards have included gift cards, cash, checks, stickers, etc. Over the past few months we have made adjustments to our house to give Philip his own room and help with the sleep cycles that are going to be messed up with blindness. In the next few months we will be painting it a bright, cheerful blue and yellow. By the time it is done, he won’t be able to see it, but he would love it if he could see it. Financially, we would not have been able to do this for many months if it had not been for God laying it on the hearts of His people to help us. A month or two ago, Joyanna and I went out to eat at Denny’s at 4 in the morning prior to a medical test she was having—the financial ability to do some of these kind of even little things, which have given invaluable memories, is because some of you have helped us. We are so thankful for how God has provided for every need, and through His people given us so much above what we could even dream about. The God we serve shows his grace by giving us a lot more than we deserve.
I could go on, but I hope that these examples serve to show how God has been good to us; hopefully these examples help those who read this to realize that God is the one taking care of us. The years ahead will probably have a lot of ‘bad news’, but when you hear more ‘bad news’ about Philip or Joyanna’s situations don’t despair for us—just realize it is another opportunity for God to reveal and teach us more about His grace.
Here are a couple pictures from this week. It is hard to see, but Philip is in the crib in the picture, Joyanna and Ethan are just keeping him company.