It was easier than I expected to let him go this morning. My biggest fear is that I won't know what he is doing or experiencing. Up until this point, I know everything he likes and dislikes. I can translate his motions or words. I know every book or toy he has access to and can piece all his wants/needs together. At school, he will obviously have new experiences that I won't know about and I will have a blank in interpreting his understanding. I am thankful his teacher will communicate through his folder but it will still take some transition time for me. I think I feel this a little more than normal because usually a child who starts school can, for the most part, come home and tell about the things he experienced during his day. Philip can't do that. So, while he knows and enjoys his day at school, we won't have much understanding of his experiences since he can't communicate them. That's the gist of the transition for me; it even took a while for me to be okay with him going to school. The Lord has made it clear this is the direction for him right now and I think that's why I had an easier time this morning than I thought. Praise the Lord for His grace!
Philip's first day of school was today! He is going to ride the bus which will be a constant source of joy for him but that isn't set up yet, so today Ben took him to school and picked him up. This picture is right before he went out the door. His school has a uniform policy. So, he will wear khaki or navy pants and red or blue polos. He didn't seem to know what was going on this morning since this is so new for him. He got to see the classroom on Monday and meet his teacher but we're not sure if he remembered or connected that the room was school. He will only be going for half days during this school year, which ends June 3. He still REALLY needs his nap so we wanted him to come home each day after lunch. Ben took this picture of Philip with his teacher, Mrs. Koehler (said kaylor). She seemed very nice and capable when we met her on Monday. She has been teaching special needs for 15 years. The classroom has many resources and opportunities for Philip to learn and progress. You can see some of the baskets and totes on the wall behind them. He brings home a folder everyday that his teacher will communicate with us through. Today, she wrote that he seemed happy all day and fit right in with peers and teachers in activities. That's a blessing given his recent meltdown issues. A couple of his therapists stopped by today to observe him. They will probably be setting up a meeting with us soon. They don't know the parent version of Philip's history, only what his folder can tell. There's a big difference in those two versions. This is Philip when he came home today. He must have worked hard or maybe just tired because it was such a new experience and a lot to process for him--I guess it would be a lot to process for most 4-year-olds. He had a little harder time going down for nap today because in his normal routine, he eats lunch and immediately goes for a nap. Since he ate lunch at school and then came home, I don't think the nap was fitting into the routine for him. He will get used to it soon. Joyanna and I will get used to it too but it was very different for us today. Joy wanted to go bye-bye with Philip this morning (or dye-bye as she says it right now). Then, she didn't quite know what to do with Mommy almost all to herself. Ethan still sleeps quite a bit so I did get more things done this morning and time to read with Joyanna, etc. I guess the nicest feeling was that I knew Philip was being taken care of and hopefully getting the stimulation and learning he so desperately needs right now. Lately, I felt guilty knowing I would love to be doing so much more one on one time with him helping him to keep his skills and not regress but time just wouldn't allow. He plays so well and most of the time, he would end up playing and Joy or Ethan or dishes or laundry would be getting most of my time. I hated knowing he wasn't being challenged one on one. Now, he will be getting so much more of what he needs.
It was easier than I expected to let him go this morning. My biggest fear is that I won't know what he is doing or experiencing. Up until this point, I know everything he likes and dislikes. I can translate his motions or words. I know every book or toy he has access to and can piece all his wants/needs together. At school, he will obviously have new experiences that I won't know about and I will have a blank in interpreting his understanding. I am thankful his teacher will communicate through his folder but it will still take some transition time for me. I think I feel this a little more than normal because usually a child who starts school can, for the most part, come home and tell about the things he experienced during his day. Philip can't do that. So, while he knows and enjoys his day at school, we won't have much understanding of his experiences since he can't communicate them. That's the gist of the transition for me; it even took a while for me to be okay with him going to school. The Lord has made it clear this is the direction for him right now and I think that's why I had an easier time this morning than I thought. Praise the Lord for His grace! Comments are closed.
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Philip & Joyanna's Story
December 17, 2009 -
August 25, 2018 Philip's memorial slideshow and funeral service can be viewed by clicking on the "Philip" tab at the top of this page. You can read more about Joyanna's story by clicking on the "Joyanna" tab at the top of this page.
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March 2024
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